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So after the last fiasco, you think he would have learnt right...well turns out he don't listen too well.

I'm going to do something really rad with my hair, like make the top part purple with black underneath so i've been looking for pictures of what i want to take to the hairdresser - there is this great place in Newtown called Furr hair and their stuff is amazing, i just love it, so i was trying to find other examples. So dave goes - "Oh here, check out the suicide girls page (he's a member) there are heaps with purple hair on here" so i went and had a look through his log in and didn't find much at all, and was about to log out when it brought up some of the comments he's made on girls pictures..................................bad idea, MF...........so here are these girls, as i'm sure you know - ALL hanging out etc and he's making comments on them....now mind you, they weren't comments like - wow i love your hair, or your photos look great, your outfit rocks, OH NO.....there are comments such as "wow, two words absolutely gorgeous!" "You are so stunning, just gorgeous" "You are so gorgeous, beautiful, so gorgeous"

Now tell me if I'm wrong but these are NOT the sort of comments you should be making about ANY OTHER WOMAN BUT YOUR WIFE!!!!!! (celebrities excluded, because the chances in actually meeting them are slim to none) but my freakin heart and gut feel like they're being stabbed when i think about those words - I mean fuck he NEVER comments on ANY of my pictures on facebook and here he is telling another fucking girl that's she's gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excuse me if i'm over reacting but that's pretty fucking inappropriate and if i even have a guy friend on facebook i have to jump through hoops to explain why but he thinks he can get away with this!! Oh no, and the worst part is he just didn't get it. I spent the whole night crying and he just couldn't understand why. The next day at work he rings me and tells me he didn't know what to say because he'd never seen me that upset in a while - and he felt so bad, he just kept quiet coz he knew nothing he'd say would make me better - and he's right. So i ended up getting it through to him that it was a big fucking deal to me (actually said those words while crying at work, yeah felt wonderful) and that he really hurt me and if he wanted to be with one of those sluts(I know they're not and before this i used to love the idea of those women powering themselves, just a bit too raw to deal with that now) he could be, i was not going to just keep sitting here being hurt like this. He kept saying he was sorry but he couldn't understand why it hurt so much - so i said to him, how many freakin times do i put myself down in front of him daily, how many times have i cried about having to put up with all the men at work and everywhere we go look at me like i'm some fat disgusting freak, especially when i'm with one workmate, she is just gorgeous and has the most amazing body and men follow her around with their tongues, hanging out - honestly they do, i've seen a whole table full of teenage boys stare at her as she walked past! I don't think high of myself at all, i think i'm a horrible creature and when i see him making comments about other women that i wish i looked like all i can think of is that i'm not good enough, i am the fat horrible creature i see in the mirror and i should just put myself down. THAT'S why it hurts so bad, THAT'S why i'm so upset.

He was really apologetic and he said that he never meant to hurt me - that he thinks of them as celebrities, he's never going to see them ever - and that he would prove to me that he loves me and thinks i'm way better than any of them - which for him is about the nicest thing that he could ever say. He said he thought telling me i'm gorgeous to my face (which he actually does do, a lot) is better than commenting on pictures or anything (he's as thick as 2 bricks somedays)

So so far, it's been ok. He's been better and he's been telling me how much he loves me and how perfect i look in everything i wear etc. So it's getting better because this time he actually listened to me and it stuck....funny huh - i get shitty all the time and it just goes in one ear and out the other - i actually cry and it makes him pay attention........men..................i just don't get it.

I also told one of my other workmates (not the one i mentioned above) about it coz she caught me crying at work, but she was horrified too and then at the bottom of one email she sent me she put "by the way, you look beautiful today :)" and that just made me feel better, that someone else cared so much about me to say something like that...somedays the people around you just amaze you in the weirdest ways :)

In other news because i'm feeling shitty about re-hashing that shit, but i needed to get it out. Sammy is having her first easter hat parade soon so i'm going batty with craft shit everywhere getting it ready XD!! I loved this stuff as a kid, so now i get to do it all over again YAY!! So i've got my textas out, colouring pages all in front of me with eggs etc to stick on there, ive got glitter glue, flowers, cardboard, felt, little fluffy chicken things :) It's totally cool!

And i'm starting lite n easy this week, since seeing 2 girls at work loose weight with it, i'm like what the hey  - plus the pricing is just as much as i would spend on lunches per week, and i'm getting brekkie which i don't now, so guess i will see :D Hopefully it will make a big difference and make me feel less hating of myself :D

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
i_ofthemourning
20th Mar, 2010 11:55 (UTC)
Oh sweetheart! *huggles really tight* thats terrible!!!! I just dont understand why guys think this is ok.... the other night andy told me he would totally do Emilie Autumn in a flash if he could... until i gave him my evil angry eye and he freaked out and apologised after realising what he had just said out loud grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Im already feeling fat and bloated and yuck I didnt need to hear that he would jump at the chance to do her X(

When i was 2 month post partum with rowan, had terrible depression, for some reason Andy thought it was ok to go to a stripclub and get a lapdance and get totally pissed and put money in the girls g-string... anger and hurt didnt cover what i felt. ESP since he knew how many problems i was having ( and still am) with my body and of course depression and having to stay at home alone didnt help... it still hurts terribly when i think about what he did and i still feel betrayed... So i can totally totally understand how you would be feeling. * huggles her tight again* MEN ARE HORRIBLE AND DONT THINK I SWEAR!!!!

I personally think you are drop dead gorgeous and you are DEFINATELY NOT fat... you have the perfect female figure and I am a connisuerre of women!!! you have drop dead curves and a gorgeous smexy face and body and if he cant see that then I will just have to steal u away all for myself * evil evil evil giggle* those suicide sluts are walking stds anyway * sniff* and most of them are so annorexic its disgusting...they may be alternative but they dont have half the natural gorgeous beauty that you have! you have it all going on naturally! ( PLUS they are airbrushed and make uped to fuckery!!!! trust me I know cos i have a mate thats does photography for the suicide girls and he says most of them dont look like that in real life whatsoever!and they have nasty temperaments anyway!)

Once this pregnancy is over I am so going to be using u as my coach to help me lose weight...i have no delusions as to how fat im going to be after lol XD im gonna weight at LEAST 80 kg urg * dies* we will then go op shopping and totally spend shitloads on awesome smexy clothes which will make us hawt as :D

I love u heaps sis and dont let his thick headed-ness get to you... hes incapable of understanding like most guys ...lol u should totally sign up for a porn site for hot goth guys and write comments on their pics and see how he likes it!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

love u so much and dont let it get to you cos you are drop dead gorgeous and if I could look even a tenth like you i would be sooooooo happy!!!!!!! XD

xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

nyxiah
21st Mar, 2010 01:11 (UTC)
Gee they really know how to dig the knife in don't they?
If dave said that about a celeb like Emilie I wouldn't really care because his chances of meeting her and getting that wish are slim to none, so that doesn't worry me. There are quite a few men out there that I could say the same.

OMG....I'd kill dave if he ever did that. The only time he's gone to a club and had a lap dance was on his bucks night and although i'm still not very comfortable with it, the bucks night is kinda a one off deal. But that is just disgusting, like when dave used to say he could't stand her screaming when she was little and he'd try and go out for beers and i'd be like - what go to hell, no, i'm at home 24/7 with her, you get to go away to work and you think you're just going to leave? i dont think so.
They are horrible and they don't think - bunch of cavemen!

Aww thanks hun and i feel the same way about you, you have the most amazing figure and your legs are great - wish my legs were so smexy! mine are awful - that's why i never wear skirts!
I know, that's what shit me most about the photo shoots, they always have the spead eagled show everyone what you had for breakfast shots and i'm like, why? Why do you need to be sluts and spread yourself around - why can't you keep your cool alternative clothes on and model?? Just goes to show there are sluts in all walks of life. Plus it means i'll be keeping a closer eye on him, that's all and if he ever does betray me and find someone else - i'll make sure it's the most miserable relationship he'll ever have. I'll make sure he can't 'perform' and becomes a moody irritable little shit. There's no messing with a witch, i'll fuck him up bad!

Hey, give yourself a break babe, you've gotta eat shitloads for you and the bubs and worry about the weight heaps later, being a mum is super hard work and with 2 little ones you're going to be run off your feet enough as is. We'll work on it after a couple of months, when things settle down for you.....OOOOH shopping, you gotta come to Syd one time with me and we'll go to Newtown to all the op-shops and vintage shops there, SO cool! :D oh and shoes!!! great places for shoes down there!

I love you too sis, you are the only person on the planet i've ever met that just gets me, no explanations, nothing, just gets it :D That means more than anything in the world to me (sammy excepted :D) Hahahah yeah that would make him feel like shit but why should i stoop to his level, bugger that. I have the upperhand. LOL I gave him the list last night - the small list of things he needs to do before i will ever consider it half made up to me, consisting of:
Dinner and a movie - preferably Alice in Wonderland
Dessert at Max Brenner or another chocolate place like it
At another time choc dipped stawberries and marshmallows with champagne
Roses only pack with champagne, chocolate and roses
and this is just starters :D so we'll see how we go.

I'm getting better, it's not too bad atm, i think i'm getting over it and he's been pretty good - even if i can't hug him really right now - He got this beautiful Koi fish on his lower arm, i'll have to put the pic on my fb up so you can see it, or i'll just tag myself in it so you can see, it's really nice work and he's paranoid about it - ugh stupid men! But i suppose i would be of my tattoos when i get them done. Ack No.6598722 on my to do list, i swear!

And don't say that, you are WAY more gorgeous than me hun, trust me, some of my guy buddies have already said so - do you a deal - you and i are both gorgeous and we'll agree to disagree on who's hotter okies :D

anyways little miss is hungry and crying out for her pizza so i'd better go!

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Oh by the way - how far along are you now hun? can i go nuts and announce it yet??
i_ofthemourning
22nd Mar, 2010 10:37 (UTC)
im 11 weeks this wednesday!!! weeeee ill be announcing next wednesday on FB ( finally!) and it will be such a relief! also make it my msn status too ^^

I think we can both be labelled gorgeous in our own special ways!!!! XD and Im totally taking u up on op shopping at kings cross! Ive always wanted to shop there...i had several friends live around there and its suppose to be a very "lively" place. One of my very close friends ( an ex hippie from the 70s... hes 68 now) used to be a manager of several porn shops in kings cross XD

I think u need to add to your list smexy lingerie! expensive smexy lingerie...maybe even a corset ;) if hes so intent at looking at suicide girls ...why not spend the money on the real deal which is u! i think u deserve a new corset and so u should totally be taken to gallery serpentine and dressed up!!!! XD

yeah i agree im so over seeing scrawny skeletal females showing their hoohaas to the world... once upon a time suicide girls used to be cool and about normal sized chicks with cool clothes now its just sluts with tatts or peircings * le sigh* I was very close to becoming a suicide girl back in the old days...glad i didnt in the end lol * shivers* i still wanna take pics with awesome pinup girl clothing though... the oldschool 1950s costumes would be so much fun to play around with :D we should totally have a go one day!!!!

well i didnt get my brownies but i did get pavalova ;) so i am off to eat my dessert and play some wow i think heheehhehe yes i am a wow geek evil isnt it ;)

love u heaps gorgeous and keep your chin up!!!! one more week and we can announce WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox x infinity XD
nyxiah
22nd Mar, 2010 11:41 (UTC)
Whooo not long to go now :D wheee should be sooo cool :D

Yup definately and we have brains which is more than i can say for most girls out there!

Kewl Kings Cross is definately an interesting place, i haven't shopped there in ages but yeah it will be cool to go to all those places in one day - put your walking shoes on that day :D

Meh lingerie and me just don't go together, i just don't like the stuff that much and most of it's uncomfortable but yeah need to save for some corsets - i'm getting one from an etsy shop so i'll see how that goes, she's pretty cheap so if they're good i'll buy more. OOh i love gallery serpentine, the dressing room there is so victorian and gorgeous - last time we were there was the halloween festival and i had to try not and be mean and laugh at all the flat chested scrawny girls trying to fill out a corset, i mean man - sorry but those are made for busty gals :D

Ooooh ooh ooh then if we can we should save up and get it done by these chicks i saw at the tattoo festival - damn what was their name....hang on i'll find them....http://www.boogiebopdames.com/index.php?page=introduction - There! They were sooo cool at the expo and the stuff they do is soo cute! perfect!

ooh pavlova, nice - not as nice as fudge brownies for me but still nice :D

ahaha no worries, i should actually get that game one day - i've played demo versions and loved them, i'm actually interested in getting Bio Shock 1 or the new final fantasy atm, they look cool - OH! and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland cartoony style is out on DS _ OMG! LOVE IT - have you seen his playing cards yet?? super cute, check them out on the uncle festers website, totally going to get them! Hahahah geeked out there just a little!

I love you too sis and I can't wait wooot wooot!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox X infinity +1 XD
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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